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Fake Matt Mumme Mailbag: How does Nevada get Mackay Stadium rocking again?

Mackay Stadium
How does Nevada get Mackay Stadium rocking again? (Nevada athletics)

Welcome everyone to the FMMMM (Fake Matt Mumme Murray’s Monday Mailbag). I would like to thank Chris Murray and the Nevada Sports Net team for the opportunity to write a Mailbag and offer my opinions about Wolf Pack sports and a bunch of other stuff. Thanks to everyone who sent questions into the FMMMM Mailbag and go to hell UNLV.

Here are five ways we can get Mackay Stadium rocking again.

1)Move the Nevada-UNLV game to Nevada Day weekend. The powers that be at Nevada, UNLV and the Mountain West are all idiots for scheduling this rivalry game on Thanksgiving Day weekend. Nevada Day weekend is a three-day weekend across the state, we have a bad-ass rivalry trophy and let’s face it UNLV’s season is already over by Thanksgiving.

2)Make it easier to buy tickets. If the Prince of Nigeria can easily call me multiple times a day and consistently return my emails, then my “dedicated” sales rep with Nevada athletics should be able to answer the phone and return my calls.

3)Make the concessions cheaper. I shouldn’t have to mortgage my hunting cabin in central Esmeralda County just to finance a few beers behind the south end zone.

4)Get grip on the night games. Nothing sucks more than sitting through a four-hour night game at Mackay Stadium and getting home at midnight, especially when the game is on CBS Sports Network and I could be chillin’ on my cow skin leather settee enjoying my two-for-one Qdoba meal.

5)Get the students back in the stands. Set up some Pokemon Go and TikTok stations or whatever the hell 19-year-olds like these days. Do they make kegs of Truly? That might help.

Yes, me and the real Matt Mumme have met before. The first time we met was in spring 2007 at Arkey Blue’s Silver Dollar Saloon in Bandera, Texas. In fact, the first thing I said to Coach Mumme was, “Can I get a pinch of Copenhagen?” We hit it off pretty well and spent the next few hours drawing up plays on the back of bar napkins. If you're ever in San Antonio, I would highly recommend you take the short trip up to Bandera and check it out. You won’t regret spending an evening at Arkey Blue’s Silver Dollar Saloon. It's the oldest continuously operating honky-tonk in Texas.

The best-case scenario for the Mountain West would be nine conference games with one regional FBS/FCS non-conference game. With all the craziness right now, Nevada or UNLV could need another game or two, and as the only college football programs in the state of Nevada, it would make sense for them to play each other more than once this fall. I would suggest they play three times. The first game could be held at the end of September at the new stadium in Clark County. The second game could be held on Nevada Day weekend in Reno. The third game could be held Thanksgiving Day weekend at Tonopah High School for the “Mother Mucker Bowl.” The winner of each game would get to paint the Fremont Cannon and hold onto to it until the next time the Wolf Pack and Rebels play.

I gotta say I was pretty disappointed to read Chris ranked horseshoes over cornhole for best tailgating game. If we are talking backyard or beach games, then I may say horseshoes could outrank cornhole. But a tailgate?! That is a travesty. Throwing metal horseshoes in a crowded parking lot full of tailgating Wolf Pack fans sounds like a disaster and highly dangerous. Between the metal shoes and stakes set in the ground, people can get messed up playing horseshoes. One summer weekend playing horseshoes at my camp at Pyramid Lake resulted in four broken toes and 13 stitches. I would say that Ladder Ball is the best tailgate game, and I tend to play better with a cold beer in my hand.

(Chris Murray's rebuttal: I was actually asked to rank the top "backyard" games, not the top tailgating games.)

My favorite tailgate is when Nevada wins. Nothing beats a Wolf Pack win! I like to think that my tailgating performance that week will influence the Pack’s performance on the field that day. Tailgates should be themed: appetizers, featured cocktail, main dish, music and decorations around that week’s opponent. When playing Hawaii, I like to make it a Hawaiian island theme where I bring in hula dancers to perform, cook a pig and drink an Everclear-spiked pineapple featuring Hawaiian punch. When playing Wyoming, it will be a cowboy theme where I bring in a mechanical bull, cook a cow and drink a lot of whiskey. When playing UNLV, the theme will be “Go to Hell UNLV,” and no red is allowed at the tailgate. Sorry ,Paul Weir, you and your red sweater can't come.

It would be great to see Nevada bring back the ski team. The Nevada ski team has such a great history that boasted four individual NCAA champions, 35 individual All-American honors, and seven top-10 finishes as a team at NCAA championships. With so many world-class ski resorts and winter recreational opportunities nearby, it would be nice to see Nevada field a NCAA-level ski team once again. For me, the program I would most like to see come back to campus would be men’s track and field. Until 1994, Nevada had a strong men’s track & field team that featured some NCAA champions and Olympic competitors. Selfishly, it would be great to have a men’s track & field program once again because when Doug Knuth signs a new apparel deal (or Nevada switches conferences), I can get some sweet breakaway Wolf Pack pants to wear to football games. You never know when you may need to quickly get out of your pants at my tailgate or a Nevada football game.

I don’t recall anyone asking a certain former Nevada football head coach to apologize for a win, but he would it do anyway. As for this Fake Coach, I have never apologized for a win and would never do so if asked.

I am glad to hear you renewed your tailgate spot as well. Nevada athletics has a long history of charging Wolf Pack fans for tailgating spots and making it hard to use them. One example of this is having weekday games where the tailgate spot you purchased can’t be used. COVID-19 has changed the world in a lot of ways, but it will never take away our ability to tailgate! Our forefathers didn’t battle the British for us to drink La Croixs and watch football on our smart phones. When college football is played this fall/spring in Northern Nevada, I will be in an asphalt parking lot shotgunning beers through my mask and grilling meat. Hopefully the rest of Wolf Pack Nation will join me.

Lonely Island. I like them because of their hit “I’m on a Boat." It’s a favorite tune of me and my homie Alex Margulies to play while water skiing on Lake Tahoe. Gotta be careful playing the song near the family beaches, though. You get a lot of dirty looks from moms if you are blaring that song near children. Listener discretion is advised.

I do enjoy Prestige Worldwide’s work. A couple of seasons ago, I held a “Boats N' Hoes”-themed tailgate for the San Diego State game. My buddy brought his 60-foot yacht down from Lake Tahoe for the tailgate, and we dressed up like Brennan Huff and Dale Doback and partied before the game. Things got a little emotional about 30 minutes before kickoff when my buddy launched into a stirring and beautiful rendition of "Por Ti Volare." It was a nice way to close out the “Boats and Hoes,” tailgate and Nevada ended up getting the win.

Both are excellent songs, but I would give “I’m on a Boat” the edge in terms of homage to the sea. “I’m on a Boat” better captures the feeling of being at sea and is much more descriptive (and graphic) about its connection to the sea. I heard Mountain West commissioner Craig Thompson once fell off a boat and into the sea when visiting San Diego during MW Media Days. My sources told me Commissioner Thompson’s beautiful hair was not impacted by the sea water and actually came out looking better than when he fell into the sea.

Many Wolf Pack fans would say cold beer is their favorite pregame beverage. But for me, it's hard to beat an ice-cold Four Loko at 6 a.m. in the parking lot outside of Mackay Stadium before a big game. For those September games, I prefer to go with a refreshing Watermelon Four Loko to quench my thirst before kickoff. On a crisp fall October morning, I prefer the smooth taste of a nice Peach Four Loko as it pairs nicely with the season. For those late-season November games, I like to go with the Black Four Loko at 14 percent alcohol as it will keep me warm before and during the game. For a Nevada bowl game, I like to go with the classic Gold Four Loko. It lives up to its name: “Tastes like Gold. Not much more we can say.”

Hard to make many of these predictions not knowing how many games will be played, but remember this year is a la niña, so expect a crap load of offense, and that’s before we play a team coached by Brady Hoke. Coach Mumme has been given the keys to a high-octane machine, and ladies I’m talking about Carson Strong. Expect the sophomore signal-caller to throw for more than 30 touchdowns and be in contention for Mountain West Offense Player of the Year by end of the season. Carson will have plenty of weapons to throw to led by former Mountain West basketball champion Elijah Cooks hauling down plenty of touchdowns. If the Union can stay healthy, expect the Pack Attack offense to get things going on the ground as well. Be on the lookout for big numbers from the two headed-monster that is Toa Taua and Devonte Lee. The way Toa has been working out this offseason, it would not be surprising to see him flirt with the 1,345 yards and 10 touchdowns that his brother and Nevada running backs Coach Vai Taua put up during his junior season. Expect the Pack to be in the top tier of the Mountain West for total offense this season.

This is tough question, and I am too busy drawing up plays and breaking down film to answer it fully. In 2013, Chris Murray wrote a great article breaking down the all-Wolf Pack football team. I agree with the most of the list with the following exceptions; Zach Threadgill at QB, the great Dedric Holmes at RB, Khalid Wooten at DB and Anthony Pudewell at TE (he made that catch in the 2005 MPC Computer Bowl!). In terms of all-time uniform, I would go with the mid-1990s all-blue look by the Pack. Hard to beat the blue helmets with the silver pack script with blue jerseys and blue pants. (You’re welcome, JCF.)

Does he regret transferring to U of A? No way. That’s a great school with tons of beautiful women who didn’t have the grades to get into USC. He’s playing in the Pac-12 in front NBA scouts every night versus staying at Nevada going through a rebuild and having to ride a bus to Laramie in the middle of winter. Jordan made the decision based on what he felt was right for him and his future. You cannot fault anyone for that. I would say the odds of Nevada landing another McDonald’s All American are about the same as Tony Sanchez being an FBS head coach again.

Sadly, Julian is moving on from Nevada Sports Net. JDG and I met up for some drinks last Friday, and naturally he was drinking a sprinkletini. He has done great work in the community and will be missed by all Wolf Pack fans. I wish the original NSN Minister of Culture nothing but success in his future.

With that being said, this has been fun, but I need to clean up sprinkleini barf off the side of my truck. If you’ve made it this far, thank you reading the FMMMM Mailbag, Go Pack!

The Twitter account @FakeCoachMumme is "NOT the Offensive Coordinator for the University of Nevada," but he is a Wolf Pack super fan. You can follow him on Twitter at @FakeCoachMumme or email him at FakeMattMumme@gmail.com.


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